Hooks and Harnesses, Collars and Clubs
by CWprodigy
Summary: Follow Cristina Yang as she falls head first into something she never expected. Eventual Cristina/Erica. BDSM, Dom/Sub, spanking etc. Don't like? Don't read. Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I've decided to change up the story a bit. Instead of it opening up with an established BDSM relationship I'll slowly develop it. Sorry if you liked the first version but I promise this one will be even better. Anyway, please review!**

X

A sickening feeling bubbled in the bit of her stomach and crawled up her spine like a caterpillar with needles for legs. It was an unfamiliar feeling for her, one she didn't like or understand. She went up the stairs quickly and found reassurance in the burning of her legs. But not for long. The pain made it all too real.

The door to her apartment opened with a cool, silent breath and by the time she made it to the kitchen, Cristina knew she was alone. Callie was probably with at roller-skate-girl's place.

"_Arizona"_ She mentally corrected herself as she sat her keys on the counter. Callie would be pissed if she never called her girlfriend by her real name, as ridiculous as Cristina thought it was. She was sort of glad the Latina wasn't home. She took comfort in the silence. The feeling in her stomach didn't lessen though, if anything it had intensified and for a moment she thought she might be sick. She moved quickly to the bathroom but didn't throw up.

She flushed the toilet anyway and washed her hands purely out of habit. Then, her eyes met her reflection. She brushed her lips with her fingertips. A deep blush crawled up her neck and inflamed her cheeks as she finally recognized the feeling.

Shame. She was ashamed of herself.

Cristina stared at her reflection as she remembered, remembered every single moment of it. She moved to the shower, peeled off her clothes, and stepped inside. The hot water burned her skin but she liked it. She deserved it. She allowed the flaming rain to sting her over and over like the lashings of a whip. It was her punishment.

She began washing herself and realized the bruises still marked her thighs. Cristina had never felt filthier. She scrubbed viciously at the marks until her skin was red and irritated even bleeding in some areas. She ran her fingers over her skin, the same skin, same body that had been touched intimately not very long before.

Cristina began scrubbing violently starting with her calves, then thighs, her torso, her arms. She kept scrubbing until she couldn't tell if the skin was red from the water or the scratching. She was destroying herself. No she already was destroyed.

She thought of Burke, how he screwed her up beyond repair and how Owen fixed her like the handy man he was. Or how he used to be, before she broke him. They had never made her feel like this.

She continued to scrub as if the filth had surpassed her skin and was inside her until the water turned cold, she didn't bother to wash her hair. It was the one thing she hadn't been complimented on in that on-call room. Her hair was clean.

Sitting cross-legged, naked on the tiled floor of her shower, she wondered why she was like this. Goosebumps broke out on her red, inflamed skin as cold water dripped down her back.

She was hot and cold at once and the two extremes seemed to tear her body apart. But that was fine with her; she thought she deserved that too. She closed her eyes as she remembered. Every touch, every scratch, every bite, was seared into her brain. She gripped her hair and pulled as the feeling flooded over her once again. She felt like screaming, but that would make it real, that would make her weak.

Cristina stumbled from the shower at the sound of her pager. She nearly slipped on the slick, cool floor but grabbed the counter in support. She silenced the beeping but couldn't breathe as a familiar name flashed across the screen.

She nearly fell as her insides fought themselves yet again. This time, she did throw up.

The acrid smell of vomit, along with the sounds salty, contrite tears filled the room.

X

**A/N: I know it's short but this is just the setting up the story, the prologue I suppose. So, Good? Bad? Please review and let me know!**


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Meredith asked if she was okay. Cristina honestly couldn't blame her. Her skin was tender from the rough treatment she had given it the day before. Her normally soft scrubs felt hard and starchy, irritating her already sensitive skin.

"I'm fine," she answered. They both knew she was lying. She brushed off Meredith's concerned expression like it was dust on her shoulder. She could handle this herself.

"Well you don't look fine," Meredith said. "You look like you're in pain."

_That's because I am,_ Cristina almost said. She just shrugged and yawned tiredly. She hadn't slept the night before. Her hair was a greasy mess of curls and she was sure she had bags under her eyes.

Meredith leaned against the counter and stared intently at her friend. Concern shone through her eyes.

"I'm fine Mer, really." She flashed her a small smile for proof. Meredith seemed to consider this for a moment. She seemed satisfied and promised to meet her up for lunch before leaving. Cristina huffed and flexed, wincing as her scrub top rubbed against her sensitive shoulders.

"Are you alright?" She didn't dare turn around. She knew that voice. It was the voice that haunted her dreams, the voice that made her feel like she was being embraced, but that same voice could destroy her in an instant. And now that voice was filled with concern for her. It was odd, stunning to say the least.

"You should come with me." Cristina could hear the shuffling of x-ray scans, the attempt to make this seem like a casual conversation.

"I'm not on your service," she replied defiantly. She could feel cold fingertips brush against her neck. She shuddered and the brief touch quickly left her. She could hear retreating footsteps and knew she was supposed to follow.

But she couldn't. Following would mean accepting this; it would mean making what happened before real. She found herself torn between the two halves of her nature. She wanted to, but she was afraid of the outcome. She was raised to be a strong woman, to not simply accept things as they came. She had made that mistake before and had lost pieces of herself as a result. She would never do that again.

And yet…

Yet there had been something so _liberating_ about giving up the control she thought she needed to have 24/7. Something exhilarating about not thinking about everything, only being in the moment. Cristina got a taste of it and now she wanted more. Goosebumps rose on her pale skin, the footsteps were still in earshot. Her throat was suddenly dry and she swallowed thickly.

Wordlessly she turned around and followed. She stayed a few footsteps behind to make it look like a coincidence.

"_Very stalker-like,"_ She noted dryly. She watched as the object of her affections entered an on-call room. Cristina waited a few moments before following suit.

She was suddenly nervous once inside the small room, heart beating hastily against her ribs, palms suddenly clammy. _What the hell was she doing?_ With shaking fingers she locked the door. The audible click of the lock was enough to send her companion into action.

Erica pounced on her, pushing her against the door with an audible thud as her head collided. Cristina let out a pain filled groan as the material of her shirt rubbed against her sore back and Erica took it as an opportunity to slide her tongue into the shorter girl's wet cavern.

The kiss was painfully dominant. Erica grabbed fistfuls of her hair and pulled, savoring the moaning sounds Cristina made. She broke the kiss abruptly and began a trail of searing path down the Asian woman's neck.

Cristina was left gasping, trying to get her higher brain functions to kick in. No, this was wrong. She was kissing _Erica freaking Hahn_, her friend's ex no less. And dammit if she didn't enjoy every minute of it. But no, this had to stop.

"Doc…Doctor Hahn?" No reply.

"Hahn?" She began to thrash as the blonde woman nipped at her throat. She was losing her train of thought too easily. What was she saying again? Another bite was felt, harder than before.

"Erica?" Her voice was cracking in sheer desperation. The sensation was downright overwhelming. The blonde woman wrenched her lips away from her subordinate's throat. She backed away from Cristina quickly, backing into a corner like a scared animal with wide blue eyes.

But no, she didn't get to be scared. She had just kissed a resident multiple times. And not just any resident, the very resident she claimed to absolutely despise.

"I…I'm sorry," Erica managed after a moment, raking her fingers through blonde locks repeatedly. She was gasping as well and their joined, ragged breathing filled the room for several awkward moments.

They didn't look at each other. If this hadn't of happened they could blame what happened the day before as a fluke. They were both tired and bruised one way or another and for a few blessed moments they had managed to find solace in another person. That could've been it, a stupid mistake. But this, this changed everything.

"I shouldn't have done that." Erica's voice was quiet, like she was simply talking to herself. She shook her head several times.

Cristina didn't know if she should be worried or amused. "Am I really that bad?" She asked jokingly.

Erica turned a glare on her not unlike the normal daggers she shot at her on a daily basis. "Do you think this is funny?"

"It's hilarious," Cristina answered sardonically. "You making out with or even worse _sleeping_ with me then denying it like it was the worst mistake of you're life has me in freaking stitches." She barked a mocking, brittle laugh.

"I'm not denying it," Erica exclaimed impatiently. "It just shouldn't have happened."

"But it did."

The blonde's glare turned to her again with a renewed anger blazing in her eyes. "This is your fault. If you weren't so…so…"

"So what?" The resident asked in annoyance. The fact that Erica could easily flip-flop through emotions scared her a bit.

"So amazing…" Erica answered quietly moving to tower over her once more. Her blue pools roamed over every inch of Cristina's form and finally settled on her face.

"You shouldn't be this amazing. I should hate you. But for some reason…" The attending trailed off with a somber shake of the head.

She left the on-call room leaving Cristina more confused than ever.


End file.
